Thursday, July 30, 2015

Revising sentences

Today I have been learning about the word DRAFT. DRAFT is like an acrostic poem. Each letter of this word means something in writing. Today we have been focusing on the D. D stands for Delete. In class Miss Paton shared with us a piece of writing in which we had to delete, take out words and change sentences. Here is my piece of writing.

Miss Paton’s copy

Miss Paton has a cat. His name is Oscar. He is a tabby cat. Oscar can be a pain in the neck. He likes to sniff my rubbish bin. He always come to my house wanting food. Oscar likes to fall asleep on my couch. He does not like my laptop computer. He would rather sit on my lap. Oscar would like me to give him the attention.
68 words


My copy

Miss Paton has a cat named Oscar. He’s a tabby cat and can be a pain. He likes sniffing rubbish. He always comes to my house hungry. Oscar likes to fall asleep on my couch. He hates my laptop computer because he’d rather sit on my lap and get the attention.

51 words

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